I have recently qualified as an aroma therapist so I am very aware of the therapeutic benefits of essential oils. However, until last summer, I had not realised that they could be used to aid the dying process. I would like to share with you my very personal experiences of this.

Written By Chrissie Best BA (Hons) IFPA

Last August, my mother suffered a serious stroke. She had been ill for 15 years with Alzheimer's and had lived in a nursing home and EMI unit for that period. When she became ill with the stroke, the nursing home of course notified me and when I went to see her, they told me that she-was 'very poorly'.

Now, we British are rather 'matter-of-fact' about the elderly and for us, the dying process seems to be one where sympathy can be in short supply. I perceive that doctors can be rather blasé about death we know they deal with dying all the time and they may assume that an 81 year old with Alzheimer's should be ready to go. But my mother was suffering badly because the stroke had paralysed her left side and she, in her confused state, could not understand why she was not able to move her left leg and arm. She was panicking but could not communicate with us. She had suffered the stroke on the Monday and by Thursday she was still alive but not able to take food and could only have water in tiny amounts administered by the nurse via a spoon.

The nurses were very kind to her and did the best they could for her. However, the doctor, after giving her an injection on the Wednesday, said that my mother could not have any more medication and that he would not be coming again to see her. My mother meanwhile was not sedated enough to be out of distress and was thrashing around the bed in obvious discomfort.

My daughters came with me to sit with her on the Thursday (the day before she died) and the three of us were there with her and talked to her and stroked her head and I think she was very aware of our presence. We were all distressed to see her so uncomfortable. Death should not be like this, I thought. Death is a natural process and it should be beautiful and tranquil. I knew that my mother should be receiving something to ease her passing but the nurses again told me that the doctor would not be coming again. I went home with a heavy heart after receiving promises from the nurse that she would phone me if there was a change.

The next morning I awoke with the idea that an oil blend, administered by massage, could help her reach a more tranquil state and would ease her suffering. I took with me to the nursing home a heady blend of essential oils, namely vetivert, sandalwood, frankincense, lavender and chamomile, diluted in almond oil. The dilution I mixed was stronger than I would normally use but I knew that if she was to be comforted, then it had to be. When I arrived, I of course asked the nurse's permission to massage my mother with the oils and I told them what was in the blend. The nurses were from India and they knew of sandalwood, frankincense and vetivert and nodded smilingly when I asked them if I could massage her. I felt their approval that I was helping my mother in this way.

All through the day I sat with her, massaging her on her face, arms legs and abdomen with these beautiful oils and the nurses were happy to help me. I felt very happy and tranquil in myself because I was doing something positive for her in her time of greatest need. I also felt that it was so right' that it should be me, her only child, who was administering to her at the end of her life. This is how it must have been in times past, I thought, when practically everybody died at home with their relatives around them to attend to them. And I know my mother would have wanted it this way. And I must emphasise, it was not depressing for me; it felt right and it was satisfying in a way.

My mother gradually calmed down during the day and became noticeably less agitated. By 6pm I could see that she was sinking into a tranquil state. She died very peacefully at 10pm. I felt very relieved when she died. In the end, she had a good death.

I have wanted to share these experiences with others for some time and I am glad to have the opportunity to do so now. I think the premise of this article is to confirm to you that essential oils can help people to obtain great comfort when they have nothing but a protracted period of suffering ahead of them before they can die. I know the medical professions are beginning to embrace the idea of natural therapies more readily in England now. Let's hope that they can accept the fact that oils can help a tranquil state to be achieved when all other help has been tried or refused.

Reproduced with the kind permission of Today's Therapist